Wed, May 19, 2010
The Straits Times
by Lin Wenjian
The mutual affection between Madam Anjalai and her seven children is obvious even though she lives on her own in a three-room HDB flat in Ang Mo Kio. Her husband was a machine operator before he died of pulmonary edema, or water in the lungs, in 2001. 'We asked her to live with us many times but she feels that she may become a nuisance to us if she does that,' Devagi explains. Also, as Madam Anjalai says in Tamil, which Devagi helps to translate: 'I like my independence.' But that does not mean that the elderly woman, who suffers from diabetes, is neglected.
'We call her every day - my brothers call once, I call twice while my sisters call her four or five times - and we will also visit her regularly and on special occasions such as Mother's Day,' says Devagi, who is married to a 63-year-old teacher and has no children.
When the family does get together, there is always a lot of cooking as Devagi confirms: 'My mother cooks very well and as the house we grew up in was small, we spent a lot of time in the kitchen.
'You could say we grew up with the smell of food and now three of my siblings are also chefs and cooks.'
Devagi could already whip up simple dishes such as fried vermicelli at the age of 12.
Besides being a competent cook, wife and mother, Madam Anjalai also took on several jobs, such as sewing clothes in a factory, to supplement the family income when the children were young.
What was your childhood like?
Devagi: I was born in a kampung in the Yio Chu Kang area. We were tenants in a house owned by a Nonya family. I lived there for seven years before moving to a two-room flat in MacPherson. The lack of privacy was a problem because there were so many of us and my younger siblings used to peep at my things in the room. Being the eldest child, I was also expected to always set a good example.
What was your parenting style?
Anjalai: In those days, taking care of children was not difficult as they were very obedient. As a mother, I always try to understand my children's characters and know that some of them are more sensitive than others so that I could bring them up differently.
Devagi: She was always very sensitive towards us and would not hurt our feelings.
How has your mother influenced your career?
Devagi: Besides being a great cook, my mother was very hospitable, which I try to be now at work. Even though we were poor, if somebody told her that he was coming to our house, my mother would borrow money from a neighbour just so she could go marketing to cook for him. I also inherited from her the focus and discipline needed in cooking.
Anjalai: I always tell her that when we cook, the ingredients must be fresh and clean, and we must always cook happily because that way, the food will taste better and the people eating it will be happy.
What was Devagi like as a child?
Anjalai: She was a disciplined girl who listened to me and was never rebellious.
Devagi: There was always a baby to care for so I was left on my own most of the time. But I understood that my mother had to look after my siblings and was not jealous of them.
So there has never been any disagreement between the two of you?
Anjalai: I never like to scold people, so I don't think so.
Devagi: I had an argument with her when I was in Secondary 1 or 2. I cannot recall the reason for it but I remember that for two or three days after that, I refused to let her comb my hair. In the end, she complained to my father who told me that when I was a baby, my mother would sleep on my wet clothes during rainy days because we did not have an iron and she wanted to dry them with her body warmth. I was very touched when I heard it and apologised to her after that.
In what way has Devagi made you proud?
Anjalai: I am very proud that she has written so many cookbooks and that people like her and talk to her. I am also happy that we are like friends.
Devagi: My mother is part of my daily life. I talk to her every day and also share my problems with her even though she is illiterate and may not understand what I say. From her, I have also learnt to love and care for people.
If the parent-child roles were reversed, would you do anything differently?
Devagi: I would give my daughters more freedom (laughs). I was not allowed to have boyfriends when I was young and if I needed to stay out after 9pm, I had to be accompanied by my brothers.
Anjalai: I would try to further my studies after finishing secondary school.
