Gifts - Giving and Receiving

Like almost everyone on Earth, I love to receive gifts and I love to give away gifts too. We know someone out there cares when we receive a gift and we increase the bond between us and the person to whom we give something.

Before I give something, I will first have to reflect as to what is my relationship with that person is and what kind of gift is suitable, how much of effort I am going to put in and how much I want to spend and what the person likes or dislikes. Or whether I should make the gift or just grab the nearest thing on the shelf of a shop.

I know that we all want to be loved but more than that, as I grow older, I realize that loving is more rewarding than being loved! Only when you love you can enjoy being loved.

Do you how suffocating it feels to be loved when we can’t return the feelings? When we love, we have to give and if giving is one way to feel mindful and loving then the person who enjoy our giving must not be denied the chance of reciprocating. A good friend pointed this out to me when I rejected an offer from her to cut an ingrown toenail.

I contemplated and realized then that I should not feel guilt or fear that the other party may not like doing things for us……… but think the other way – what about thinking what giving can mean to the giver. In order to have a successful and a long relationship with spouses, siblings, friends and colleagues both parties need to feel effective and experience themselves as caring.

I remember reading somewhere that Aristotle said that it is difficult to forgive someone who has done a favor for us. This made sense to me. Just give a thought to it, it may be better to give than to receive, unless one wants to give the joy of giving.

Generally, I think women happily receives a gift and enjoy it but I think men take a present in their hand, wondering what they should give the other person immediately…..I find men have a sense of obligation to the person who give it. But then in movies, story books and history books, you hear and see of kings who received lots of gifts from neighboring countries to bond relationships. Those days, countries were seen as rich when they exchange expensive gifts of gold coins and diamonds. For these kings, I guess receiving presents was more of a status symbol and to prolong relationships.

I love receiving gifts and I love the feeling when I give presents. There is joy in choosing, wrapping, giving and watching how the gift brings happiness to a person. I have friends who reciprocate a gift with a dollar to dollar back gift!!! If they know I have spent $50 on a gift for them, I get a $50 value of gift from them the next time and so it has been going for years!! For me, even if it is a stingy poker who is giving me a gift, I will be happy and grateful to receive it……..after all he had thought of me to give me a gift!!

Manchow Soup, Cauliflower Manchurian.......is this Chinese cuisine?

Spice Queen Restaurant is having a unique food promotion for the month of February – it is Indo-Chinese cuisine. Surprised and wondering why a ‘spice’ restaurant is selling ‘Chinese’ cuisine? Indo Chinese cuisine is not new to the Indian food scene. The cuisine has been in India for years. Indian-Chinese food is one of the most popular styles of cooking in India. The cuisine is believed to have originated with the Chinese in Calcutta, a community that emigrated from China to India in search of economic freedom starting in the late 1700s. The Hakkas, an ethnic group of Han Chinese who were settled in the area of northeast China known as Manchuria were the early settlers in India.

They brought with them the traditional styles of Cantonese and Hakka cooking - the result is a satisfying hybrid cuisine, created from two very different communities and food cultures! Because the Hakkas were forced to settle in less-than-ideal lands, their diet relied heavily on dried and preserved ingredients such as fermented bean curd and salty mustard greens. With its robust flavors and spices, Indian-Chinese cuisine is very different from the Chinese food served in Chinese restaurants in Singapore.

Beef and pork are absent in Indo-Chinese because of the population of Hindus and Muslims and therefore the popular meats include chicken, mutton, prawns and fish. Non-Chinese vegetables such as cauliflower and potato are very much part of the cuisine. One of the main styles of Indian-Chinese food is Manchurian, and a popular dish is Gobi Manchurian, cauliflower fritters in a thick sauce. This dish comes either in a dry version or a version dripping with sauce. The word Manchuria reminds me of ancient Chinese warriors with long beard and a head dress. Some say the dishes are called “Manchurian” as it is named after the region of Manchuria in northeast Asia. Chicken, prawns, fish and paneer Manchurian dishes are all cooked by coating the ingredients in a light batter, deep frying it and then tossing it in a lightly spiced sauce.

The staples are usually fried rice which is done with dried chillies or chilli paste and lots of tomato ketchup and the noodles, the most popular being Hakka Noodles and the Dragon Noodles. Noodle dishes are usually prepared with dried egg noodles, lots vegetables like cabbage, capsicum, carrot, chilli sauce and tomato ketchup.

Desserts are usually Dates Pancake or Honey Noodles Ice Cream. For a taste of Indo-Chinese cuisine only for the month of February 2010, head towards SPICE QUEEN Restaurant, 24 & 26 Race Course Road, Singapore 218549. Call 62552440 or visit the website www.spice-queen.com

Bright Colored, Pretty High Heels.......

I love to wear bright colored, pretty high heels. If I am wearing one, somehow my body confidence increased by that much. I do feel stylish, feel taller, my short legs are flattered and overall it gives a chic appearance. High heels have been in fashion for many years and they can make or break an office outfit. It is said that heels can make a women look sexier and have more shapely legs but although this may be true to some extent, then there is nothing sexy about the long term damage that high heels can do to one! Most of my young slim friends who have narrow feet feel comfortable wearing high heels but for some they can be a hindrance causing aches and pains that often prevents them from wearing them more often or spoils a good night out.


I do know that many women choose to endure pain and discomfort in the name of style!! Some can’t even walk without wobbling in those heels but they will still wear them. Some people choose to endure pain and discomfort in the name of fashion ...... and underestimate the health risks of high-heeled shoes.

I am one of those unlucky ones who cannot wear high heels comfortably for more than 1 hour. As I grew older I learnt that high heels can be a potential damage to the back, legs and feet. Honestly, I feel ashamed that for many years I have been torturing my feet by forcing it into a painfully slanted forward position into narrow pointed high heels. My toes will also be scrunched together and bent in an upward position. The muscles and joints in my feet were therefore naturally affected, and over time this started to seriously damage my hamstring muscles in the back of my legs. And I developed bunions on my feet and a host of other foot ailments - from blisters, callous, corn to heel pain. I could wear dancing shoes for hours as they are athletic shoes designed to balance our weight properly and have built in supports and stay put on our feet. The only problem was I cannot wear them on the streets. A PR friend of mine suffers from a chronic lower back pain that came about when her spine bend backward to compensate the forward push of her body when she walked in heels for many years. She also suffers from occasional ankle sprains.

“Heels over two inches affect the natural way you walk and can put seven times the pressure on the ball of our feet and can harm the bones”, said my podiatrist many years ago.

I do agree with him. I realized that wearing shorter heels that are no higher than 2 inches considerably reduce the amount of pressure and pain. Using comfortable insoles and support cushions minimize discomfort. I cannot tolerate flat shoes as it makes me feel stumpy when I walk and posture wise, the 2 inches high heels are the best for me. I have started buying short, chunky heels with plenty of room for my toes. I find that lower heels give me more stability, better shock absorption and greater comfort. I also realized that wearing backless high heel shoes or sandals for a long period can cause muscle strain. A strap keeps my feet from sliding forward when I walk.

I no longer get carried away when I look at pretty high heeled shoes but have become the matured person who looks at my health, safety and comfort. Pretty shoes are nice to look at …..SIGH……….

Temptations are High on Hot Stuff

These days, I feel that I'm addicted to chillies. If I'm eating noodles, I'll always need fresh cut chillies especially small red fiery hot, bird’s eyes chillies in soy sauce to go with it. When I eat out at my restaurant, SPICE QUEEN, my staff ensure that a small sauce plate of chillies or sambal comes along with my food.

But I was not like this when I was younger. My father used to cane me because I refuse to eat certain dishes because that would be the only dishes my mum would have cooked for the day. I used to be such that I rather go to bed hungry than eat something spicy hot.
Now it is different. It is chillies and more chillies in my life. Since most of my friends are non-Indians, many have the notion that chillies are bad for health. Some of my Chinese friends told me that eating chillies causes pimples to surface on the face and trust me I never had pimples when I was young or now. Then my German friend, Kristie Buss, told me that chillies can cause diarhoea and stomach upsets. Another Indian friend said “chillies can cause loss of memory and also promotes blindness or eyesight problems”.

I think chillies are great. They are beautiful to look, to touch, to smell and to cook. Not only that, they are great fresh, dried, ground, crumbled, pounded, cut into strips, pickled, and the list goes on.

Today, a friend said that his doctor said chillies can cause ulcer. And so I did further research on my favourite subject – SPICE. Do you know that some people classify chillies as a ‘fruit’.

Chillie became extremely popular in India after it was first brought to India by Vasco-da-Gama. Chillie found its way in Ayurveda, the traditional Indian medical system. According to Ayurveda, chillie has many medicinal properties such as stimulating good digestion and endorphins, a natural pain killer to relieve pains. A survey conducted in Singapore in 1994 shows that the incidence of gastric ulcers is more common among the Chinese than among Indians and Malays who eat far more chillies. In another study on animals, it was found that the active ingredient capsaicin in chillies, increases gastric blood flow and protects the stomach from damage. It also encourages the healing of experimental gastric ulcer. It seems taking a dose of chilli actually protects the stomach from subsequent damage by aspirin or alcohol.

By the way, if you want to relieve yourself off a fiery mouthful of chillie, do not reach for ice water!! Drink milk or yoghurt as capsaicin dissolves very well in the presence of fats. Hence, the Indians always serve raita, a light salad with yoghurt dressing as an accompaniment with all their fiery hot dishes.

Chillie has also been used to help relieve arthritic pain. And ironically, that burning sensation stimulates the release of endorphins, which make us feel good - which explains why some people like me just can't get enough of the stuff!!!