Platonic Relationships

Can a man really be "just friends" with a woman? Does platonic relationship really exists?

In Tamil movies, the boy and girl go to the same school, do homework together, eat together, play together, roll on the ground together and when they grow up one of them will be dreaming of the other in a romantic manner!! Because all of a sudden this character realizes he or she has a strange feeling called ‘love’ for the other person and so the story goes……..Some will get married and live happily ever after and some will marry someone else and leave the childhood friend heart-broken.
The question now is – can a male and female have a close relationship without getting sex and romantic love in the way? I think it is possible because I have some wonderful male friends. True friendships are perhaps the best thing one can experience in her lifetime. It is a great feeling to have someone by your side or on the other side, who will not judge you, who will be with you through ups and downs, talk to you about anything in the world, cleverly and stupidly. I realize that if you keep ‘gender’ out of a friendship, you can share everything you do with another same sex friend – bonding and being for each other, except that in this case it is the person of the opposite sex.

So many times, I have to say “he’s just a friend’ and many times I have heard of “it’s hard to believe that platonic relationships can exist”. I think society predicts how friendship between two people of the opposite sex will fail because intimate feelings will get involved……..some pessimists think that more than half of the friendship is vying for ways to bed the other person  But I do agree that I have come across stories of one party in a friendship who is likely to harbor some stronger intimate feelings for the other. The other party may be completely unaware of such affection. In this case, I think this friendship could just be a guise to become closer to the other person.

Well, this kind of instances in a platonic relationship can bring along a disaster or a blessing!! Relationships which started off as platonic and ended in marriage is a comfortable relationship as there are no pretences from the beginning. Marriages out of such relationships tend to last longer.
But what happens when one party shows the ‘ugly’ side of himself or herself and brings the platonic relationship to a standstill with the forbidden word ‘sex’ when the other person does not feel the same? It can well be the end of the relationship as both parties will never ever be comfortable with each other anymore. Disappointment and anger are two possible ends to the relationship.

Having said that, I stress that platonic relationships do exist – but one must work harder to build such relationship that may require additional work as well as some prior agreements to allow it to be a healthy relationship. Both persons must be upfront about their feelings from the beginning. If for some reason romantic sentiments arise, than it is best to address the issue from the beginning and decide whether it is wise to pursue a platonic relationship with that person.

If you are married or have a steady relationship with someone, it is best to tell them about your platonic relationship. You will have to assure them that even though the other person is your best friend, you do not have a romantic feeling for him or her and that what you have is a feeling of care and friendship. Introducing the two of them to each to avoid misunderstanding in future is a good way to bring about a peaceful life too. You have to tell your partner that what you have is a feeling of care and friendship. And tell your partner that you are being honest and there is nothing wrong that you are doing with your platonic friend.

Here’s to good friendship. Cheers.